Roger-luc Chayer
I just spoke with a person who had a lot of experience with the transience of his close friend, whom he loved so much, and it’s so intense that I had to take a few days to put in text the very moving ideas of Denis, who lived part of the transition of his lover Jessie.
Denis met his friend Jessie at the work of the latter and from the beginning they were united by a pleasant complicity. Both had a very obvious sense of humor and they did not hesitate to play tricks on their own. The more time passed, the more Jessie got closer to Denis and started working for his company. He had important responsibilities. Denis was a mature man, a professional in his field, and Jessie was a young man of 20 years his youngest, very masculine, bright-witted, with beautiful long hair and athletic body. Jessie radiated masculinity, Denis was far from suspecting what would happen …
The more time passed, the more Jessie showed a certain anxiety, on a daily basis, without wanting to talk about it openly. So, little by little, he began to question Denis about his views on the trans question, what he thought about people in transition, and so on. Denis, who had never thought of such a situation in the first degree, said what he thought most of all socially, without ever suspecting that Jessie was probing the ground to know how to announce to his friend that he had decided to become a woman.
As the two lovers worked together, it became obvious that something was happening and it was going to take Jessie home one evening that Denis received the news, Jessie can not contain his tears.
He told Denis that he had always thought he was a woman, that his relationship with his own sexuality was a failure, that he had decided to start a hormone treatment and that eventually, he should have surgery to reassign his sex in that of a woman. Denis received the news as if a train had just passed him on the body.
At first, as he was sincerely fond of his friend, he thought he could support him and that with time and psycho-medical encounters, Jessie would perhaps recover without having to have surgery, but the more time passed, the more Jessie’s breasts were growing, the more her psychic state deteriorated and her emotions became uncontrollable. Helpless witness of these transformations and at the speed they were happening, Denis felt that it was not a transition but a murder. Jessie clearly wanted to kill what he was. Denis began to feel the deep effects of an endless mourning, stopping feeding while remaining the witness of the daily disappearance of the one he loved.
At a certain point, Denis, not knowing how to get away from Jessie to preserve her own mental health, was lucky that Jessie was depressed so that he could not go out to work. who helped Denis not to see his lover every day leave him. They kept a minimum contact and Denis knew later that Jessie had been operated on.
Denis’s testimony is important because we talk a lot about transition as an important moment in a person’s life, of course, but we do not talk enough about the people who are around and who, by the speed of things, suffer terribly from this transition. We will have to talk about it again …