Roger-Luc Chayer
Many have noticed, but in recent months, the sites
dating for gay men or apps like
Grindr or Gay411 demonstrate a very important presence of
people declaring themselves trans. In a single week of observation
on Grindr, I was able, personally, to enumerate the
presence of 21 trans people on a few dozen profiles and
this in a relatively small area. According to the reader who drew
my attention on the subject, it seems to him incoherent, even contrary
at gay men meetings to advertise themselves as a person
in transition to the female sex, with dresses, makeup
and feminine physical attributes. At first glance indeed, one could
to ask oneself exactly what do people want
to become women on a site where men seek others
men?
First, let’s talk a bit about the definition of a trans person.
Community and social consensus is that a person
in transition, in sex change so, but who has not
performed all the steps up to the surgery of change of
sex itself, is considered trans. It’s only
at the end of all the steps, and once the genitals
have been reassigned, that the person will no longer be trans,
but an ordinary man or woman. According to the National Center
of Textual and Lexical Resources, « A transsexual is a
a person who has the feeling of belonging to the opposite sex
that mark its primary and secondary sexual characteristics.
The transsexual (…) has the irresistible feeling of belonging to the other
sex, adapts his behavior, his clothing to this other sex,
and tireless search for medico-surgical assistance
will find what he believes to be his true nature. »
Take the example of a man in transition to the female sex,
group most often portrayed on gay dating sites.
According to traditional logic, the woman in the making should seek
a heterosexual man to fulfill his emotional needs
and sexual, no? Well not necessarily! Besides the fact that
trans person can be hetero, gay or bisexual, there is a
a fundamental element that we too often forget to discuss; acceptability
and the feeling of belonging.
When leaving, it must be said that there are no dating apps for
trans people, but most gay sites and apps incorporate
a trans section for the sake of inclusion. Sadly,
according to some trans people consulted as part of this
article, it happens too often that rather than being approached at
emotional ends, they are questioned about the mechanics of
transition and about the questions that people
are thinking of changing sex. A large majority of people
trans however use gay sites because they feel
better accepted and understood by an LGBT community that has
a long history of tolerance.
Véronique, consulted for this article, told me that she had
tired of doing trans101 education on heterosexual sites. She has the impression
to serve as an intelligence officer while she is a
someone who has the same emotional needs as everyone else. « The
gay sites are more evolved, I am often invited to have a drink
by telling me clearly that it’s cool to assert myself and men
gay make me feel beautiful, not just as a sex object. » Conclusion,
the journey of trans people is complex, but these are
LGBTs continue to lead the way in inclusion.