Ivan Ivanov

I’m doing ok so far. My company is considering relocating employees to Europe, but it will take at least six months, and during that time our authorities may close the borders, and the Europeans may permanently close the possibility of entry. Even though we are not directly to blame, and no one in my company supports the war, I am well aware of how people in other countries perceive Russians now, and I understand the reasons for this anger. I feel it myself, seeing pictures of the events.
It’s a bit cynical, but when you see pictures of some distant or long-standing wars, even though you understand the horror, it seems a bit unreal, whereas here I see familiar, ordinary residential buildings, the same as throughout the post-Soviet space; I grew up in one myself, and it is far more horrifying. Also, I have friends in Kiev, we text and call each other every day and try to help each other somehow. It is hard. Also, my boyfriend and I were thinking about refugee status, but no one has come for us yet, and we don’t want to lie, to take the place of those who are in greater danger, and to totally break off relations with the country where we have family and friends. We wanted to live here, buy a house, build careers, love and friendship. But the war would come here too, if not directly, then through poverty, censorship and repression. So we have to think about moving.
I also wanted to tell you that the first alarm bells are ringing to all gay people here. LGBT+ events are now out of the question, human rights organizations are under threat, but the most ordinary people will soon be in danger too. Recently Patriarch Kirill, head of the Russian Orthodox Church, in his speech about the war, instead of condemning the murders and war crimes, said that European values were to blame for the war and that the LNR (LPR) and DNR (DPR) refused to accept European values and opposed gay pride parades. It turns out that it was not the fault of an insane dictator, it was the fault of LGBT+ people. The patriarch basically said that this war is acceptable because it is a war against LGBT+ values.
Also, the regional MPs made a proposal to tighten the law « banning LGBT propaganda », to toughen responsibility and to ban more information. While freedom of speech has been formally destroyed in Russia over the last month, all free media have been shut down, and military censorship has been instituted, anyone who says « no war » can be fined heavily, and sentenced to up to 15 years in prison for a repeat offense. I have a book from the LGBT+ film festival “bok-o-bok”, I probably should hide it 🙂
There is another problem. We have very few LGBT+ organizations and places in reality. Few clubs and human rights organizations, only in big cities. For most LGBT+ people, all their social activity takes place online. Twitter, YouTube themed channels, gay websites. All of this is now under threat. Something is being banned by our authorities and some companies are leaving on their own. Not everyone knows how to use the VPN, and their socializing opportunities are suffering.
As for canceling Russia, that’s a separate big problem. The economic consequences are already catching up with us. People are literally fighting for sugar in some shops, which has become scarce, but sugar is just the beginning, prices have already gone up significantly, many medicines are gone, problems even with condoms, which is scary, there are already problems with HIV in Russia, and so on. I sincerely hope that it will be a wake up call for some people here.
As for the cancellation itself, I understand the reasons. The whole world wants to stop the war at any cost, and also feels anger seeing what is going on, and that is understandable. But it is not always logical. Many companies have problems with logistics and payments, because of the withdrawal of Visa and Mastercard, and that too is understandable. But in my opinion, what’s wrong is that IT companies are leaving and restricting operations.
For example YouTube has restricted payments to all content creators, while YouTube is not yet banned by the authorities, it is the main source of truth, the last place to watch free media, and the monetization restrictions have hit those free media very hard. Yes, propaganda suffers too, but the government will always give them money, but channels that tell the truth exist on money from monetization and donations.
In my Philistine opinion, those who made games, movies, dating apps, like Netflix for example, who have now left Russia, could use their platforms to deliver the truth to people here, as many bloggers do, and pass the profits from our market to Ukraine, the digital reparations of the 21st century. But it’s not for me to decide, it’s just my opinion.
I myself use a VPN to find out the truth. Moreover, my YouTube Premium and VPN is now being paid by my friend from Kiev with his Ukrainian card, because it is no longer possible with mine. It’s a sad irony, my country is destroying his city, and he is helping me stay connected to the outside world. Our friendship is stronger than this madness and all we dream about is to see each other safe and sound somewhere, have a nice coffee. And I am not alone, many of us have close relationships with people from Ukraine, and I sincerely hope that this love is stronger than any hatred.