News release
My debut memoir « Smashed Not Wasted » is due out on the 5th July with Guts
Publishing – it’s about a gay man’s journey to recovery from alcohol dependency,
exploring the triggers that led me down that path. Publication coincides with Pride
Month in June and Alcohol Awareness Week in the UK (3rd to 9th July 2023).
The story in a nutshell: A young gay man, intelligent and ambitious, founds a charity for
men with eating disorders then slides from bulimia into alcohol addiction. “Smashed not
Wasted” is the story of his recovery, on his own terms, and the traumas that led him
down this path. It’s an exploration of how a person can conceal an addiction, maintain
their façade, and emerge with self-respect and confidence in the person they unearthed
in the process.
In November 2019, when I embarked on my fourth and final detox during a hospital
admission, I came up with the idea to write a book about my experiences. Following
many A&E visits due to severe alcohol withdrawal, suicide attempts, four psychiatric
hospital admissions and being « sectioned » by the police, I realised I’d been on an
extraordinary journey.
Incidentally, the November admission coincided with Alcohol Awareness Week 2019
and I began tweeting about my journey for the first time using the #RecoveryPosse
hashtag. To my surprise, there were many people in recovery who were cheering me
along from day one.
« I’m going to write a memoir! » I pledged to the consultant on the last day of my
admission. She didn’t seem enthused or convinced I’d stay sober. I’d be intrigued to see
her reaction now that I’ve been sober for forty months and I’m about to publish my first
book.
Having left the charity « Men Get Eating Disorders Too! », which I founded in 2009, to
focus on my recovery I felt like I’d lost my purpose. Through engaging with the recovery
community online, I realised I could continue to help people in a different way through
my tweets, articles and ultimately my book.
Around the time when lockdown hit, I realised swapping my teenage bulimia for alcohol
in my adult years was due to undiagnosed Complex-PTSD, which was underpinning my
unhealthy coping mechanisms. From childhood abuse and neglect, homophobic
bullying at school and an incident of sexual assault in my late twenties, trauma was
always lurking in the shadows.
Nightmares, flashbacks and intrusive thoughts were just some of the symptoms I hadn’t
even considered as symptoms. Only when I began writing the first draft did I realise
what the word « cathartic » really meant. Those early drafts would be for my own personal
benefit to get my head around what I’d endured up until that point.
« Go deeper, » was the feedback I received from Julianne at Guts Publishing after reading
through the first draft of my manuscript, while she agreed it needed work and had
potential. It was the encouragement I needed to persist with my writing.
What I really needed when I was at glorious rock bottom was visible examples of those
like myself who were in recovery. An addiction thrives in isolation – it’s the main reason
for my repeated relapses but I had no plans on turning back.
Shame is often fuel to the fire for many people with addiction. For me, what changed the
game in recovery was the realisation that the shame I was carrying was never mine to
own. Other people’s shame of me – whether for being gay, my alcohol addiction or
anything else – belonged to them.
Here is the blurb as described on the Guts Publishing website (or see AI sheet
attached): After a night of partying in a gay club, Sam Thomas finds himself in bed with
his Valentine’s Day date. The night takes a turn when his date transforms into a beastly
creature. The next morning, confused and hungover, Sam discovers that his date has
no recollection of this. In an attempt to shake the night off as a bad date, he plunges
further into drinking.
When he tries to go cold turkey, he suffers unexplained illnesses. On his third
emergency admission to A&E, he is diagnosed as alcohol dependent. After his
admission to a detox facility, and in the midst of a relapse, a crisis leads to a collision
course of events that result in Sam’s admission to a psychiatric hospital. Which is where
his epic recovery journey begins.
I’ve written many articles about my experiences for national and international
publications including HuffPost, Independent, Insider, Metro, Mirror, Newsweek and
others.
Guts Publishing website: https://www.gutspublishing.com/
Sam’s LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/samthomas8186