LOUISE’S MAIL

Louise Deschâtelets et Roger-Luc Chayer

I find it absurd that in 2019, some people, especially mothers like the one writing to you this morning, worry that their daughter is lesbian. Since when do we have to worry about the homosexuality of others? Although very understanding, this mother should know that homosexuals do not need the permission or approval of heterosexuals to be what they are. No more than the other way around! The reaction of others should in no way disturb the gay, because it looks no one else than them. When will we stop congratulating people who « accept » what does not concern them? Besides, what pretense on her part to say that she encouraged her daughter in her choice, when homosexuality is no more a choice than heterosexuality. A. V.

I have only one caveat with your affirmations, the one that begins the second paragraph of your letter, because unfortunately many gay men (es) still fear the reaction of the entourage to the announcement of their sexual orientation if it is different from that of the majority. (Louise Deschâtelets)

This is how Louise Deschâtelets, in her edition of September 18 of the Journal de Montréal, was simply dealing with a very complex issue of emancipating as homosexuals and coming out of the closet openly and in front of Christendom! The question of the lady whose name we are hiding was entirely in good faith and she certainly wanted to raise awareness among some parents about the announcement of the homosexuality of their children, and especially to allow the children of the do without fear. But the question is not so simple. In a 2010 report, Radio-Canada said « For some, this is done without a crash. For others, the announcement of their sexual orientation can lead to rejection, discrimination, harassment, violence. « And that’s not to mention the consequences for work, family, loved ones, or sports … The decision to leave the cupboard is not an ultimate goal to achieve in his choice to live fully his homosexuality or his love life. This release should be done, if it must absolutely be done, strategically and thoughtfully, without thinking that everything will be done simply and that the joy of asserting homo will be communicative and shared by everyone around you.

As a gay media editor, I often get disastrous stories of coming out, family reunions, or corporate New Year parties, and those people regret being out, because the reaction of theirs entourage had not been anticipated. As in the case of Manuel, 16, who has always been a boy loved and raised in a « very advanced » French-speaking Quebec family who, when he decided to tell his parents that he had a lover, was he was forced to go to a psychiatrist and was no longer allowed to leave the house for months, because his parents were furious at the « influence of the public school on their child », or for this other young, Rocky, who decided to live his homosexuality openly at 14, which would have caused the suicide of his mother!

When I am asked my opinion on the question, I always repeat that the coming out should be done only with people in whom we have perfect confidence and who are smart enough to know that it is good news, not the end of the world. I went there, my cousin Mimi was the first!