Pierre Salducci
Every human being is endowed with a marvelous instrument called the brain, which serves as a sort of cockpit and control tower for the individual. The brain analyzes incredible amounts of data every second, it classifies it, lists it, interprets it and – in response to this information – it makes decisions, launches impulses or provokes reactions.
The brain relies on experience to function. It records everything. He knows your tastes, your habits, your preferences, he knows that you do not like such color, such smell, such sensation, and warns you when they arise. After a while, he no longer even needs to consult you to act, he knows in advance what you want and he will do it for you. He programmed everything for you. No need to think anymore.
You want to slow down in the car, your foot presses the brake like magic without even having to ask it for anything. You find that it is cold outside, you will close your coat without even thinking about it, as if by reflex. You are thirsty, your arm will stretch out for a glass, a bottle, and you will drink, etc. All this is done automatically and seems to be decided without your intervention, in less than a second. It’s terribly convenient. This is called autopilot. And fortunately he is there, otherwise we would waste a lot of time having to analyze everything at every moment and having to think about each situation before making any decision.
Yes, but here it is, the autopilot can also be your worst enemy in certain aspects of your life, particularly when it comes to managing your emotions. Most of the time, dealing with your emotions dates back to your formative years and your earliest experiences in life. You have learned to cry when you see such a scene that scares you, to scream when you experience such a feeling, to stress when you find yourself confronted with such a situation, etc.
And all this, once again, is very useful. It protects you, it alerts you, it warns you. The problem is that you acquired all these reflexes in the face of your emotions when you were very young, at a time in your life that is no longer relevant, and if it worked well at that time- there and if it may have helped you in the past, nothing says that these reflexes still correspond to the person you have become as an adult and the way of life you have decades later.
Years already separate you from this period of discovery and initiation. This is why you have to learn to be wary of your autopilot. In fact, it often happens that your emotional reflexes no longer correspond at all to what you have become in hindsight, when you come of age. You used to be restless and now you have become quiet, you were impulsive and now you have become more measured. It could also be that your needs have changed. You loved shouting and arguing while today you dream of calm and harmony.
And yet, your old emotional reflexes are still there and poison your life, they constantly resurface without you even asking or wanting it, you drag them everywhere like cannonballs, they lock you up in your past and literally hold you prisoner of an old self that no longer resembles you.
The problem also, sometimes, is that your autopilot goes too fast. You haven’t even had time to listen to the end of what you’re being told, haven’t had time to understand or think about the situation, that you’re already angry, already pissed off, and that you have already answered tit for tat, like that, without even taking the time to pause, and now your answer embarrasses you, that you do not find it measured enough, that you find it disproportionate, it makes you almost ashamed. And so it goes so often…
Your autopilot acts like an arrow, at full speed.
In front of others, in front of you, in front of life events and circumstances. This way of working no longer satisfies you, it no longer resembles you. And you have to agree that if faced with an accident or disaster, your autopilot is a valuable ally, in many other cases, you would gladly do without it.
Would you like to change? Would you like to be lighter? Approach life more simply, with less fear and anxiety? Less aggressive too. Would you like to have reactions more adapted to your real feelings, more in line with who you really are, or with whom you want to appear? Nothing’s easier. To do this, all you have to do is reprogram your brain and especially the old reflexes that bother you, define what you want to change, what bothers you, and ask yourself how you want to react now, what best suits you, how you want to function and who you really want to be.
It is totally doable. It’s more or less the principle of neuroplasticity, it’s betting that our brain is a malleable material, where nothing is fixed, nothing is definitive, especially not suffering, bad habits and bad behaviors, and which you can always work on to improve and become a new version of yourself.
There are many methods that allow you to embark on the path of renewal and psycho-logical well-being, for example psychotherapies, NLP, EMDR or even meditation and mindfulness, but in any case, the first step is always to be lucid, to look at things in the face, to become aware of your need for change, and then you can choose an approach that suits your personality type and commit yourself concretely in a process of change.
Good words are not enough, good will either, and even less New Year’s resolutions, we must act and do our part, in the long term. It is a journey, an evolution, an awareness.
Some people can do this on their own, for example by following a guide, a book or an appropriate method. And for the others, it is enough to consult a therapist or a life coach. But it is worth it, because the relief and satisfaction experienced are very important. We come out like new. Come back to life.