Roger-Luc Chayer (Image : AI / Gay Globe)
Social Media and Dating Applications: Between Seduction and Danger
Since the rise of social media and dating sites such as the Priape chat, Gay411, Grindr, etc., there was a period of intense activity on these platforms, until it became clear that they could also be used by homophobes to lure and attack, and even assault certain young gay men.
Against all expectations, gay men of all ages now seem to be rediscovering a taste for gay saunas. The Sauna Carpediem, on Montreal’s South Shore, is a telling example: it remains highly frequented, and its popularity continues to grow.
Advantages and Disadvantages: Social Media vs Saunas
Let us therefore explore the advantages and disadvantages of social media and men’s saunas: whether in North America or Europe, the principle remains the same everywhere.
The Initial Appeal of Dating Applications
When dating applications first arrived, what real appeal did they truly have?
At the beginning of dating applications, the main appeal was above all speed and freedom. Gone were the days when one had to spend entire evenings in bars or saunas just to cross paths with someone, waiting for a glance to connect or for a conversation to begin. With these apps, every profile was at your fingertips, every swipe or message represented a new possibility, a small thrill of the unknown.
They also offered a discreet space for exploration: being able to chat, flirt, or even arrange a meeting without anyone in one’s social circle noticing. For many, it was a revolution in gay sociability, a way to connect with men from all walks of life, of all generations, without geographical barriers.
And beyond simple sexual encounters, there was the promise of discovering communities, feeling less alone, and sometimes finding deeper connections than one might have imagined.
The Dangers of Applications
But they also present significant drawbacks: encounters that can be disappointing or superficial, fake profiles, harassment, and in some cases serious risks such as traps set by homophobes. Anonymity, which is an appealing freedom, can quickly become dangerous territory, and the virtual aspect often limits genuine human connection.
Unfortunately, several dating applications have been used to commit assaults, attacks, or crimes, particularly when ill-intentioned individuals exploit these platforms to lure, rob, assault, or attack other users. Here are documented recent examples:
On popular applications such as Grindr, fake or fraudulent profiles have been used to attract victims before assaulting, robbing, or physically attacking them. In several regions, notably Australia, police have arrested groups who used Grindr to lure men and then assault, rob, or threaten them with homophobic motives after summoning them to arranged meetings; arrests involving up to 35 individuals have taken place in such cases.
There have also been cases of targeted homophobic assaults arranged through these apps, such as traps where gay men were contacted and then attacked in isolated locations.
Cases have also been reported in Europe, for example in Nice, where an LGBT+ activist was lured via the Grindr application into a homophobic ambush, violently assaulted, and robbed.
More broadly, major platforms such as Tinder and Hinge have been at the center of controversies because sexual predators have used these services to reach targets and commit serious assaults, and lawsuits have been filed against the operators of these applications for failing to remove dangerous profiles quickly.
These examples show that the risk does not come from the application itself, but from the way bad actors can use it.
Men’s Saunas: A Real and Social Experience
Back to Men’s Saunas
Men’s saunas above all offer a tangible and social experience. Unlike apps, one is in the real world: human warmth, spontaneous exchanges, glances that meet, everything creates an immediate and immersive atmosphere. It is a space where the gay community gathers, where one can relax, meet new people, and sometimes build more lasting connections than behind a screen.
Regular attendance at places like Sauna Carpediem in Montreal shows that this experience retains real appeal, even in the era of applications.
Limitations and Risks of Saunas
But saunas also have their drawbacks. Physical access requires travel, which limits encounters to those who are geographically close. Some may feel intimidated or uncomfortable in the atmosphere, and discretion is not always guaranteed, especially for those who prefer to remain discreet with regard to their social circle.
Moreover, as in any public place, there are potential risks related to safety or inappropriate behavior, even if these are generally better supervised than online.
Safety: Saunas vs Applications
Overall, one can say that encounters in men’s saunas tend to be perceived as safer than those via applications, but this is not an absolute rule — it is above all a matter of context, control, and intention.
What makes saunas safer in practice is first the physical and social framework: one is in a public place with staff, internal rules, and often supervision (direct or implicit) that regulates behavior.
This limits the risks of random assault or situations where a malicious person can disappear immediately after a meeting. There is also a community dimension: regular patrons, staff, and the codes of the venue tend to discourage openly abusive behavior.
By contrast, on many dating applications, there is no real filter on who can create a profile, how it is used, or with what intentions. Fake profiles, vague information, and ill-intentioned individuals can come into contact with a user without any on-site measure being able to intervene immediately.
Anonymity — which is a strength of these apps — also becomes their main weakness when it comes to physical safety and identity verification.
Examples of Harassment via Applications
For example, an American man recounted how a former partner used Grindr to create fake profiles in his name, sending hundreds of men to his home or workplace over several months, forcing the victim to file multiple complaints and change his phone number.
This case was even brought before the courts in an attempt to have the responsibility of the application recognized in relation to this type of harassment.
In another case in the United Kingdom, a person whom a man had met via Grindr launched a harassment campaign after he ended contact: she sent his intimate photos to his family and friends, created multiple fake profiles, and filed false reports, resulting in a strong sense of fear and intrusion into his daily life.
Conclusion: Choosing One’s Environment
Between the two, one can therefore say that saunas offer a more controllable and socially regulated environment, which tends to reduce certain risks. That said, nothing is entirely eliminated: inappropriate behavior can also occur in a sauna, and everything depends on how each person assesses and manages their own safety.
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