Christophe Pilaire (Image : AI / Gay Globe)
The Trouple: A Relationship on the Rise
For several years now, a word has been circulating more and more in conversations, on dating apps, and even around Sunday brunches: the trouple. Meaning: a romantic and/or sexual relationship involving three consenting, committed individuals who are aware of the framework they build together. Once a marginal phenomenon, it now seems much more visible, especially among gay men. A trend? A relational revolution? Or simply a reflection of deeper changes?
Evolution of Relationship Models Among Gay Men
Historically, gay couples have often mirrored the hetero-monogamous model due to the lack of socially recognized alternatives. Marriage, exclusivity, strict fidelity: norms sometimes adopted out of a desire for recognition, sometimes out of necessity. However, with the progress of LGBTQ+ rights, a new generation feels freer to explore other forms of love, without trying at all costs to « fit the mold. »
The Trouple, One Alternative Among Others
The trouple then appears as one option among many, alongside the open couple or polyamory, allowing the redefinition of commitment according to one’s own rules.
The Role of Sex and Communication in Gay Culture
It would be naïve to ignore the role of sexuality in gay male culture. Historically less constrained by religious and reproductive injunctions, this culture has often valued exploration, multiple partners, and open communication about desire. The trouple, when chosen consciously, can be seen as an affective extension of existing practices: sharing, negotiating, setting clear boundaries.
Beyond the Stereotype: A Life Project for Three
Contrary to common belief, it’s not just about permanent threesomes, but often a life project for three, with compromises, jealousy… and grocery lists.
Increased Visibility of Trouples Thanks to Apps
Grindr, Scruff, Tinder, and the like didn’t create trouples, but they made them visible. Threesome profiles, group photos, open bios: what was once discreet is now proudly displayed. This visibility plays a key role: seeing others happy as a threesome reassures, legitimizes, and inspires.
A Fertile Phenomenon in Western Cities
In major Western cities known for their openness and relational creativity, this phenomenon finds particularly fertile ground.
Living as Three: A Response to Contemporary Challenges
Urban solitude, economic pressure, mental load, search for meaning: living as three can also be a pragmatic response to today’s challenges. Sharing financial burdens, offering emotional support, dividing responsibilities… Some see it as a form of affective solidarity suited to our era.
The Demands of a Successful Threesome Relationship
Of course, the trouple is not a miracle solution. It requires exceptional communication, fine emotional management, and great emotional maturity. But like any relationship, its success depends less on the number of partners than on the quality of the bond.
A Diversification of Ways to Love
Ultimately, the increase of trouples among gays is neither a drift nor provocation. It mainly reflects a diversification of ways to love. At a time when people claim the right to be themselves, even intimately, loving as three becomes for some an obvious choice, for others a curiosity, and for many an essential reminder: there isn’t just one right way to love.
The Freedom to Choose: The Real Revolution
And if the real revolution, ultimately, was simply the freedom to choose?
ADVERTISING
